Sunday, October 28, 2007

Grandbaby Mylo

Seems while I was gone to Palm Desert that the family had to come up with a reason for me to want to return home. Erica and Dan had been looking for a puppy for a long time-ever since they were puppy sitting in Australia. So a bouncing bundle of wiggley brown fur, Mylo, greated me at the door ready to play hard.
She really brings joy to our house, and I have to admit that I am happy to be Grandma. The training energy necessary wears me out and we both are suddenly tired and ready to nap. Perhaps it is good for me to see that when you play hard, you need to rest alot-I seemed to have forgotten.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Palm Desert Escape

The pink gerber daisies left a trail from the Roanoke tavern birthday brunch to the Backes/Dierickx compounds in Indian Ridge-Palm Desert, which is good 'cause I might want to find my way back there someday! The day was full of surprises. I had accepted the invitation to join the girls on an adventure-with girls it is always an adventure-to escape to the desert. It is a diverse group of 5 women all of whom can both kick up their heels and have a good time and be comfortable relaxing or simply discovering their inner child. Standby travel with 3 is somewhat stressful if you are the person in charge. Sue,the flight attendant, took over the role sweetly. Jill and I were the children in the scenario-along for the ride and carefree followers, a great way to start a trip. Jean and Marilyn drove the route, leaving a day earlier and arriving before we landed.

A packed day of power shopping at Cabizon shopping extravaganza then home in time to change clothes and head out to a round of golf in the 94 degree weather! Cheap as we are, we had found a deal (that's us, always looking for a deal) for $29 for a round of golf, but we did have to play in the heat of the day. Hole 4 found both Sue and I fishing for our golf balls in the pond and as luck would have it the ball I had on the end of our fishing gadget teetered on a cliff side ridge. "Leave the ball and let this guy play through" yelled Jean. The ball appeared to be in the basket and on the way toward my reaching hand when Sue and I looked up to see Mr. Red Shirt on the tee ready to tee off. "Just a minute" I said. "Just leave it, he's going to play through" Jean replied. We walked back to our waiting cart barely on the edge of a narrow fairway. "Whack" and the ball flew over out heads and off to the far side of the ruff. "Sorry,Let me just take another one". "Whack"-the audacity of a not perfect player to ask to play through at the expense of my sinking ball! This prompted the song "Mr Red shirt, who do you think you are, Mr Red shirt" to the tune of Mr Big Stuff. We laughed about it the rest of the trip. As we melted in the heat Mr Red shirt appeared again behind us after another hole and stayed behind us till we quit on hole 12. A stalker?

Monday we had a lesson from Jean on erotic pool aerobics. You had to be there as the pool boy came by to heat up the pool. Sue and I were taking instruction from Jean now doing the frog move. "Push it down...harder...feel the burn...harder...now faster...harder". I was nearly in tears as I quietly asked her to switch exercises, but she didn't get it and she didn't see the pool boy either. "Faster, harder...okay!" She switched and the pool boy walked down the other side of the pool and disappeared into the restroom. Jean got it, and we all belly laughed till we were sore and the exercises and language deteriorated till we had to get out or drown.

The dancing divas of the Yaya sisterhood gathered to prepare and feast on dinner of marinated shishkabobs, rice and salad followed by white robed, crazy hat club clan who danced around and sang with the likes of Cheryl Crow, Frank Sinatra and my favorite, It's a wonderful world by Louie Armstrong. Then we joked about what crazy things we could dress up as for Sue's upcoming Halloween party including dumb bald (instead of dumb blonde). Not so reluctantly I became the center of attention as the girls sang a chorus of Happy Birthday to me and dressed me in a white robe seating me in Pete's favorite reclining chair and at the direction of Jill, the cosmetic expert from Nordstroms, proceeded to give me a facial and massage that took 3 years off my age. I should have been ready for bed after that, but we flipped on the TV to see the devastation of the San Diego fires where Sue's sister had been evacuated from her home with wonders of whether or not her home and possessions had survived.

Time to explore the place and release my real estate inner child to the throws of Palm Desert. Anyone needing a second home? Early morning with sunrise warming the crisp desert air I took the golf cart out to explore the houses-don't go too far-all the houses look the same-what street am I on? Sue called her agent, Judy, to give us a tour, even though our self guided tour had already lead us to a house Sue was interested in that had conveniently been left unlocked. Like Curious George we were all over it, the respectful adult side of us leaving it as pristine as we found it. Suddenly hearing noises we devilishly concocted excuses for why we might be there. "Did I leave my cover up here?" The pool feature was most inviting. "It's okay, I'm a real estate agent".

We scheduled Pilates class with Mariko at 11. Marilyn had a loose agenda written on the white board in the kitchen. House maintenance was on her to-do list. Plumbing issues and a details the trained agent eyes picked up. My morning mission was to get a card reader for my camera so I could download pictures from my camera but as always, m mind was multitasking. "Marilyn, where can I get photo equipment". "Walgreens is right down the road, take my car." In unknown territory I ventured out on a mission and prided myself returning just as the gang was convening for Pilates class with my own bag of tricks-a handheld sewing machine for easy mending, card reader for the camera, safety corner for a deadly corner cabinet that was bound to bite some unknowing guest...I had found Home Depot (almost by mistake) and returned without getting lost and in time for Pilates class! Pool time, sun time, down time, and soak up the sun time then off to tour with Judy. We hit several homes in Indian Ridge an several more in Palm Valley with tours of the respective clubhouse and facilities.

Our last evening out took us to The Nest for some wild dancing with all 5 women in their tiaras, down to karaoke singing which we almost missed, and out to eat and check out the lighted shopping strip where we will no doubt return some day when it is open and we have more money.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Last chemo-NOT

Monday I went to the oncology/radiology floor at the Swedish Center to get a pet scan and CT scan to determine what the next step would entail. Optimistically I had been announcing that I was all better and that I would be canceling my scheduled chemo the 11th-only a few days later, but realistically the doctor had warned me not to count on 6 (treatments) as the final count. The testing entailed new IV (they couldn't use my port), drinking a cool aid type drink and 1/2 and resting for 45 minutes to let it all absorb (not to mention the previous days diet of no sugar, high fat and carbs, and no exercise-boy was that a switch! All to prep for best absorption by the tumors of the radioactive sugar water I drank that would illuminate any tumors found in the pet scan. Then prone on to a metal board in a cold room that would slide me in and out of a rounded plastic hollowed out log all the while taking 1800 photos to be read by the radiologist. Fortunately I was allowed to wear my fuzzy warm hat and a warm blanket over hospital pj's, so the cold was not a problem. No music this time, and fairly quiet. The pet scan took about 18 minutes and the entire process I was made to raise my arms up over my head and hold them there while my hand went numb and cold as I held the stretch-I wondered how inflexible folks made it through this process-I do yoga and think I am better than average in this department but was very relieved to be done! The CT scan in contrast took less than 8 minutes and I could have my arms at my side.
The results were to be done in an hour, but my doctor was not back from vacation, so I had to wait a full day and a half for the call. "Hi, this is Dr Kaplan calling". "Great, I know you have good news", I answered. "Yes, I do." I was sure I was going to be cancelling my appt for chemo the next day. The pet scan is clean, but there are 2 little spots showing on the CT scan and we cannot tell if it is scar tissue or residual tumors so we would like to go through a couple more treatments and do another CT scan to make sure. "OK, I think I can handle that." "So, let me verify that. A couple, meaning 2, another CT, not another Pet, scan, and we can be done?". That is the new plan.
Today was my scheduled chemo date and I got my blood work done and port hooked up readying for the appt. There was time today to do a puzzle with Erica, who came with me this time. 2 hours later I was dismissed for a shot to boost my white blood cell counts so that I could reschedule another postponed chemo. Now I go in on Saturday (not the way I wanted to spend a weekend) with 2 additional shots to boost my immunity. But at least I have been able to keep on track and the news is GREAT. I am feeling recharged.
I went to Gilda's club tonight to meet a fellow cancer survivor and listen to a talk on neuropathy-a nerve symptom of the chemo that I have been experiencing lately-numbing of the feet, in my case, not painful but bothersome.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Bailey

Last nite we went down to the Casita for dinner, prepared by our guest and new in-laws, Maryann and Laurie. I boosted Bailey into the car. She had spent the day alone and seemed to be needing some attention, but not demanding it. She left her dinner uneaten at home and I knew she was having another bad day-they were getting progressively worse, but I didn't really want to know what was going on with her and she rallied each time I thought she was sick enough to merrit a trip to the vet (she is nearly 12) where I was sure he would just tell me that she was old and had arthitus. She got out of the car slowly and made her way down to the Casita where dinner was being prepared. The smells were enough to rally her attentions. I cooked a special chicken dinner for her then she went outside and drank a ton of water out of the trough in the backyard and came in to collapse on the floor inside. It was enough just to have the family surrounding her and as usual she never complained, but it was evident that she was not feeling well. We took turns sitting on the floor next to her and petting her as there isn't couch space for 6 people. She got more attention than usual, especially at the dinner hour. Finally it came time to go home and she couldn't get up-not even an attempt. We decided that we had to make that trip to the vet. Laurie helped me carry her to the car and gently set her in the back. Erica voluteered to accompany me. We talked on the way about the deterioration of Bailey's health. I have journeyed alongside of her through surgery and recovery and she has mimmicked my attitude. First she would be tired and lethargic with no appetite, then she would eat a special meal and seem fine again, or have difficulty with her digestive system and bowel movements. Ups and downs, and I felt she was going through cancer right along with me. I prayed for her to rally for me and she did! She maintained that positive, carefree spirit each step of the way right through the vow ceremony, but last nite she could hold out no longer.
The vet came back into the room after examing Bailey. The xrays showed our greatest fears were true-she had a large tumor and some liver problems, anemic and weary, she would not last the nite without surgery, and was probably too weak to survive the surgery. Erica and I had to make a tough decision. We went back into the cold examining room to say our goodbyes. Erica left and I remained to hold her head and make sure she knew how much we loved her as she fearlessly went to sleep. She will be sorely missed.

Erica & Dan

Where does the time go? Our daughter is married! Her gracious and fun filled in-laws are here from Sydney, Australia. Paul Barret preformed a beautiful ceremony at the Mercer Island Presbyterian Church . Chad Dierickx sang a heartfelt rendition of Amazing Grace while Val Giesbrecht accompanied him on her violin-an impromtu and very moving gift to the ceremony that left not a dry eye in the room. I wondered at the emotions in the room as MY most recent memory of the song was at my friend Chris Engs' mother's (who died of Ovarian cancer) memorial service not 2 weeks ago. For each of us in the room it signified a different memory yet unified in our thankfulness to celebrate together, each in such a personal moment, the uniting of love and God's grace to have tbrought us to this sacred gathering.
Paul gifted us with a story that added laughter to the somber mood and gave a picture of sharing and message of remaining true and real to each other.
The vows were a work of love, well thought out and words to remember; encouragement even to us who have just celebrated 30 years together, reminders of what new love pronounces. Sean got up to turn the Ipod on at the close of the ceremony, but the live music still rang in our heads. In attendance were Sean, Steve & I, Erica & Dan, Laurie & Maryann (Dan's parents), Paul, Chad & Val (for a brief and moving gift). The simplicity of the event forced a focus on the vows and promises.
The next day we met with the wedding planner and caterers. July will be a new season strengthened by the promises of the day-Sept 30, 2007.

Monday, October 1, 2007

The Eternal Optomist & Monterey

This title I stole from a reread of an email I received from a dear friend approaching the 2nd chemo and it is particularly appropriate as I fly on the anniversary of 9/11 with no fears or doubts. (Actually I later discovered I was flying on 9/9 but thinking it was 2 days later-wonder if the travel traffic was any different).
It has been an inspirational weekend as I have been gifted a trip to Monterey to spectate and cheer for Sharon Scott, a good friend and coworker at JL Scott, and my coparticipant in the challenge of the 2002 San Diego marathon with Team in Training, benefiting blood cancers.
The trip itself was for me a bit of a triathalon as I managed to squeeze in time for the triathalon with the Sharon's family (Glatz), visit with my 2nd family-the Regis' from 7th grade in Japan, and have some alone time to go inward. All legs of the event were inspirational.
I packed for a short 3 day weekend with minimal baggage to carry on. With no need for hair product and minimal cosmetics it was easy to get through security, but clothing needs were harder to pack for than the previous 7 day trip to Hawaii where flip flops and bathing suit and cover up would have been enough. I knew there would be shoes to pack as I planned to run alongside and cheer at each transition zone Sharon crossed. There would be dancing and celebration at the finish, and there would be eating out with the fashion conscious Glatz's whom I had never traveled with before.
I love getting on the airplane. When it lifts off I am on a new journey. My mind can leave behind worries, cares, and stresses of the past and begin focus on NOW. The return flight brings me back to home and family for which I am eternally grateful.
The morning of the triathalon I awoke early as if I were participating. I had been communicating mentally with Sharon as I have felt prerace jitters myself in the past and was hoping to connect before the race. I quietly exited the hotel room and left Laurie sleeping, to get some fresh air and try a short run. The marine layer left a dense fog near shore and the sea lions were already barking. A few homeless people were picking up their possessions from the beach. The rythemic waves hitting the beach were conducive of a run to keep the pace. I texted Sharon to see if she was up yet. No answer. I headed north in the direction I believed the race would be and looked for the start line. No one in the hotel could find a race course map and the website hadn't been much help either. 15 minutes out and still no signs, I headed back towards the hotel. Participants were then headed on their bikes south towards the light house. I met Sharon briefly-she had had a restless nite but seemed ready to rock and we headed our own directions to prepare for the race and rally the troups.
We rounded up our cheer leading paraphernalia-"Go Sharon" signs, air tubes to bang together, and special "Go Iguana Girl" shirts that Lori had custom made and walked down the oceanfront pathway towards the start line.
sea lions were barking and basking in the shallow water seemingly waving at us. I couldn't imagine the previous days training kelp pulling with sea life swimming underneath and just 2 days prior a shark attack on a surfer-the 1st in over 10 years-right off Lover's Point-the swim zone. MY adrenaline was racing!
The street was lined with spectators moving about to get the best vantage point for the wave and event they were cheering for. We worked our way to the beach edge and arrived front and center just as Sharon exited the water. "Go Sharon"! I don't think she even heard us-how could she have missed us? we were right in her face. I ran to see if I could beat her to the next transition area where she would emerge from that chaotic zone on her bike. The course wound around twice on the swim leg, 4 times on the bike leg, and 3 times on the run leg so spectator positioning was great! If we missed one cycle we would certainly have other opportunities to see Sharon come around again and again with renewed encouragement. Each time Sharon appeared to be in her own zone, barely looking up to take away from her determined focus. Finally the run, the last kick. 3 times around the track. We moved from the transition zone down the course. Surely Sharon would need our cheering after such grueling events. I made my way down the course to see if I could run a spell and help pick up the pace but doubted myself as I saw Sharon come pounding strong down the pavement. I ran a short way the 2nd lap but found I couldn't keep pace even for a short distance. I was excited for how much energy Sharon had-she was on pace and looking good. The final lap I was so excited to run in 100 yards and see her finish strong! Next year -we'd both come back!
Debbie came down with Vaghn (her greyhound). An exhilarating moment for all of us. Veteran Team in Training participants and now cancer survivor too! We hugged, glad to be fully alive. Deb and I took off to Carmel to see her parents and catch up on old times. Sharon stayed to cheer on her teammates, and the Glatz family returned to enjoy Monterey for a few hours until we would rendezvous for the celebration dinner and dancing later that evening, and celebration it was as we-the Glatz's and me , closed down the dance floor.
Sharon's celebration wasn't quite as sweet as she had hoped. Her boyfriend of 4 plus years had abandoned the journey and a broken heart might make for a good race, but leaves emptiness in the final hurrah. The next morning I would leave to return home and Glatz's would continue on to celebrate Lou and Ron's 47th anniversary in Napa wine country!