Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Far Ventures

For the last year and a half I have been taking baby steps out and returning quietly and quickly for my next treatment or scan. This Thurs I am preparing to go for another Avastin treatment. One which I don't know the ending for. I also have MRI and mamogram alternately every 6 months, and a higher probability of getting breast cancer since my genetic test was positive for the BRCA1 gene. (Good news - Erica tested negative for the same gene!) Does that mean she will wait to have a family? This December I am planning a month leave to visit Australia, with a short stop in Fiji on the way- with Erica & Dan and Steve. We wish Sean could accompany us, but job responsibilty and cost are factors that have become more important with the current state of the economy. We approach things with caution again as we venture out into the world with new enthusiasm. I am looking forward to leaving my new reality behind for a spell and seeing the extended family on their turf. I have a few more tests to go through before I am considered clear, but haven't felt an urgent need for travel insurance...

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Life after

This one is for you Murph! I have been thinking about life after diagnosis and beginning that journey again-after the Cancer word hits...Devastating news, one that you have to get a grip on before you fall victim. This is where you really have to stay strong when traditional medicine is bringing you down. The energy level you get from allowing outside help in the form of visits, bringing meals, flowers, cards, every small effort-and tons and tons of prayers that are felt within the spirit, is energizing if you let it in...there is a tendancy to think we can still be strong on our own, and I have come to realize that we are not alone in this battle even when we feel abandoned and alone, God is with us. He promises us (whenever our time comes) a better place. It is time to enjoy the fruits of your labor and let the love around you lift you.
Today I am feeling normal. My hair is baby soft and just covering my head, and I am looking forward to new energy and returning fully to the work that I enjoyed, the events I participated in, the people I used to connect with, but at the same time, I appreciate LIFE more fully and feel each precious minute and want to encourage those who are suffering through life to find the positive and move towards that which lift us up not pulls us down. Attitude is what gets us through life with a smile on our face, or with a frown. Keep it good. You can choose a fear or love. My advice-Embrace your fear and choose love.