Bloody Boogers

Life and death (blood and crust) all in one-what symbolism-that is what I wake up to at night. A sure sign that chemo is working again, and a symptom that I don't read about, so that merits documentation-aren't you all glad to read about it! It tends to be annoying, but I can sluff it off, blow it out, and be renewed. Action, progress, and much better than getting sick to my stomach. Wonder what is going on in the rest of my body...I am feeling less nauseous by the day and planning on getting my butt out of bed to go work out this morning. I have lost a bit of weight getting an appetite back again, but feeling good about that too. What a way to get in shape.

As for the mental aspect of repeating this process, I need to progressively remind myself of the benefits of readjustments in life. The time to reconnect with friends who have been through their own trials and tributes in this state of the economy-it's phenomenal! Relationships are stressed with times of financial downturn, people are out of jobs, the swine flu is going around (quit kissing pigs you guys and wear your masks-they do in Japan). We are afraid to get on a plane to sunny destinations because we are sparing our money and afraid of exposure, and it pours rain here intermittently with sucker patches lengthy enough to get a good walk in if you just seize the moment. Aunt Elise, I loved your email about getting drug in historic past. Today, the drug scene is meth labs, but yesterday it was about being drug to church for on Sunday, drug down the street to help a neighbor with their garden work, and drug to the bedroom to think about it if by chance you took a dime to help and you were caught by your parents for not doing the deed for free. What a change are country has seen.
External forces are easier to deal with than internal abnormalities. External forces we can fortify ourselves against, but internal come as such surprises, and we feel helpless. That is when we have to turn to emotional strength and glimpses of the grace of God; our spiritual side. It is a return to the whole makeup of the body. Too often we get comfortable with thinking we have control over our lives and forget to nurture and balance the other makeup of our beings. I love the offerings of friends who have dealt with adversities (and we all have whether we care to admit it or not) and their glimpses of beauty. I mentioned dancing to a dancing fool friend of mine when she called, and she invited me to her next Salsa class-I can't wait to go- "If you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance"...