Just to let you all know that I am feeling great! I had a few much welcomed visitors today, Colleen, Erica and Dan, and Karrey, and I don't think I fell asleep on any of them this time. Hopefully I will remember my conversation this time. The Doctor says the blood levels are good, no new tumors to the touch, and I look great and fell great, so all is well.
The doctor visit went really well. I will still have to wait till after chemo 6 and CT scan that follows that next Sept 14 before I will know if I have to continue on course, or if for now I am clean! We are still looking into experimental drugs and checking out new research and learning alot, yet trying to balance all that with work, kids returning to the nest, wedding plans, and aging dog. Sean (boo hoo) drove back to LA yesterday and is there already. We miss him.
I feel GREAT! I am thinking for all you cancer survivors, that we need to set up a cancer support group and I already have help in getting that started at the MI Presbyterian church, so let me know if you know of anyone wanting or needed that venue.
I am leaving Sept 7th to watch my dear friend, Sharon Scott, compete at the Pacific Grove triathalon (wish I were doing it with her) in California. Hoping the weather is better than it has been here.
The family had a great visit to Blaine,WA to see Steve's sisters, Elaine and Eileen and brother- in- law Bill. We took the fishing boat out for a tour of the harbor and Semiahmoo and the harbor seals. Ate crab cakes and Korean beef and pizza and pie till we were full full full, yum. And washed the dog, but that is another story, yuck. It is so fun to do normal things again.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Sleepless in Seattle
As my energy is recharging I find myself getting back into booking my calendar again with not much down time. I am in the office working on new listings and with new buyers and creating a marketing plan for the upcoming year. I went to a Mariners game and stayed till they lost to the Boston Red Socks, but just barely. Fall is almost upon us and Husky football season brings recollections of college days gone by and many outings in the stands with friends and family. I have slipped into the lake again to swim at dawn just to challenge myself, and because it is so beautiful at that time of day. I feel the time slipping away, just one more week to go before Sean returns to LA and the house is vacated by the crew who has been painting and working on building a deck. It will feel very vacant with the 2 of us again. Next week is chemo again-I am on the reverse plan of my cell phone that needs recharging by plugging in. I am recharging till I get plugged in again.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Eagle morning
I launched the kayak at 7:15 this morning and paddled north. The wind was pushing me along gently and the clouds were barely covering the sun. I could see blue sky but was headed in the wrong direction when a monsterous eagle appeared from nowhere and circled around my small yellow kayak. He stared at me and drifted by, circumnavigating me then dipped and with talons full forward, scooped up a small fish just feet away then sailed off to distant pilings to pick on his morning catch away from competition. My morning expeditions are meditations and change the outlook for the rest of the day. I held our new listing open for brokers during the lunch hour and greated many friends I had not had opportunity to catch up with lately. A successful and gratifying day.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Chemo 4
Last Friday was my latest chemo and I slid in from a beautiful and restful Hawaii vacation to get back to reality. This treatment hit Seafair weekend also-party time on the water here at Lake Washington. I can't remember a time when I wasn't in on the party planning for Seafair in some way, but this time I chose to lay low and just enjoy the sunny day at the Casita dock going out only shortly on the neighbor's Donzi to catch up and watch the Blue Angels fly. My energy level just isn't what is used to be or perhaps the timing was just off.
The doctor called with good news once again. The CA125 blood test is back down to 15 (20 and below is normal-and has come down from 400 something when I was first diagnosed). This means that the chemo is working. There are 2 spots left that can be seen on the CT scan that I had done just before departing for Hawaii. I can take a weak day or 2 for such good news. My sister reported that she has tested positive for the genetic testing and we are going in together to discuss what that means for us and for our offspring this Thursday. We will have to be even more dilligent in the future. Thank you all for all of your support-the search for the cure is even more important now than ever-for our future generation...
The doctor called with good news once again. The CA125 blood test is back down to 15 (20 and below is normal-and has come down from 400 something when I was first diagnosed). This means that the chemo is working. There are 2 spots left that can be seen on the CT scan that I had done just before departing for Hawaii. I can take a weak day or 2 for such good news. My sister reported that she has tested positive for the genetic testing and we are going in together to discuss what that means for us and for our offspring this Thursday. We will have to be even more dilligent in the future. Thank you all for all of your support-the search for the cure is even more important now than ever-for our future generation...
The accountant-Sudoku-Love
Today is our last full day in paradise Yesterday was gorgeous-we booked our family on the Trade WindsII, the smaller boat without the colorful "look at me" sail. The day was beautiful, sunny-we had plenty of suntan lotion (from long ago remembered sunburn days we left with mental notes to reapply even though we all love tan-tan is beautiful). We went to 2 tranquil coves to snorkel, the water was calm and the reefs filled with familiar fish (for me anyhow). I tried free diving and discovered that I could go the depths without any pains if I breathed right (no headache) and didn't make any jerky moves that hurt my healing abdominal scar. We were lucky enough to get to go into the lava tubes with our snorkel dive masataer who lead us into the darkness until we had to wait for our eyes to adjust then explained how in ancient times, a Hawaiian who had broken the law had to run from warriers who would kill them, to a sacred place (base I call it) on the island where they would then go through a repentance ritual and be returned into society, if they made it alive. Divers who knew these lava tubes had distinct advantages since they could rest from pursuing landlocked warriers, and hide unseen.
The captain was all excited when he heard that I had spotted a rare and ugly "moon fish" on my snorkeling escapade saying that those fish were easily traded for other good lute because they taste so good-only to find out that my Moon fish was Sean swimming dolphin stroke beneath me with his shorts down to his knees and moon flashing me from below.
All too soon the boat was headed back to port with a stop at Captain Cook's monument and more Hawaiian history lure. We had managed escaping severe sunburn but I later noticed a line around my head and Sean figured ot it was my mask line on my bald head!
We had an invitation to residents and residents guests cocktail hour at the Resident's Beach house which we took the golf cart down to on our return. We stopped at the Canoe Club thinking that was the spot and soon discovered they weren't one in the same so continued down the beach path to find a lively group with poo poos and drinks already jolly in conversation. The golf carts were so numerous that we had a waiter volunteer to valet park for us.
Dan, who had arrived the previous day, sporting his hot pink cast and dark shades, got immediate attention. Steve had opted to stay at home as social hours are not his thing. We mingled with very interesting people, a great network group for the kids who soaked up stories from the people there who had made their wealth from various trades and were now enjoying the spoils of their plunders. "Mooch party"-that is what one guest termed the event. I think we scored a wealth of information in the hour along with free coctails (and I do mean free-no one, we soon discovered, was even tipping) and poo poos. We learned that Michael Dell-of Dell computer fame, was responsible for the entire development. Nice to hob-nob with the rich and famous altho he was not in attendence, they do this reception every Monday- someone knew him.
We cruised home in our golf cart for dinner with Steve at 7:30 (the place shuts down at 9:30). Steve had been expecting us by 7 and was beyond cajoling into joining us at that point and apparently happy to enjoy TV by himself. Sometimes I really don't understand how 2 such different people can be so right for each other, but after 30 years of marriage I have learned that we do not ever give up on each other!
Which brings me to the original analogy I was thinking of as I got up this morning...Sudoku.
Well slowly, I guess, like a building wave of thoughts, the churning went like this...
"This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." My mother used to recite this one many mornings to wake us kids up. In paradise it is easy to believe all is beautiful with the world. I guess that is why so many people vacation here but why not live here?
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Another biblical quote I recite to myself when things aren't going the way want. so I thought about sudoku. Steve loves to play the game. He, like most men I know, likes to have a set solution to the problem. He will dilligently work through things I readily give up on knowing and believing there is a set solution to the problem. This is a great thing in a marriage. One to remember when times get rough and giving up seems like the sane way to go. Sometimes we start the entire puzzle over again but it is a challenge worth redoing because when the solution is acheived, the resulting feelings of accomplishment are worth the efforts.
So it is when I am frustrated with relationships I sometimes begin again with renewed determinations. What drew me to the relationsip to begin with? What am I looking for in a relationship and what has changed? Stop and review as soon as things look wrong. Perhaps it is just one small square that needs correcting. Have patience, tomorrow is another beautiful day...
The captain was all excited when he heard that I had spotted a rare and ugly "moon fish" on my snorkeling escapade saying that those fish were easily traded for other good lute because they taste so good-only to find out that my Moon fish was Sean swimming dolphin stroke beneath me with his shorts down to his knees and moon flashing me from below.
All too soon the boat was headed back to port with a stop at Captain Cook's monument and more Hawaiian history lure. We had managed escaping severe sunburn but I later noticed a line around my head and Sean figured ot it was my mask line on my bald head!
We had an invitation to residents and residents guests cocktail hour at the Resident's Beach house which we took the golf cart down to on our return. We stopped at the Canoe Club thinking that was the spot and soon discovered they weren't one in the same so continued down the beach path to find a lively group with poo poos and drinks already jolly in conversation. The golf carts were so numerous that we had a waiter volunteer to valet park for us.
Dan, who had arrived the previous day, sporting his hot pink cast and dark shades, got immediate attention. Steve had opted to stay at home as social hours are not his thing. We mingled with very interesting people, a great network group for the kids who soaked up stories from the people there who had made their wealth from various trades and were now enjoying the spoils of their plunders. "Mooch party"-that is what one guest termed the event. I think we scored a wealth of information in the hour along with free coctails (and I do mean free-no one, we soon discovered, was even tipping) and poo poos. We learned that Michael Dell-of Dell computer fame, was responsible for the entire development. Nice to hob-nob with the rich and famous altho he was not in attendence, they do this reception every Monday- someone knew him.
We cruised home in our golf cart for dinner with Steve at 7:30 (the place shuts down at 9:30). Steve had been expecting us by 7 and was beyond cajoling into joining us at that point and apparently happy to enjoy TV by himself. Sometimes I really don't understand how 2 such different people can be so right for each other, but after 30 years of marriage I have learned that we do not ever give up on each other!
Which brings me to the original analogy I was thinking of as I got up this morning...Sudoku.
Well slowly, I guess, like a building wave of thoughts, the churning went like this...
"This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." My mother used to recite this one many mornings to wake us kids up. In paradise it is easy to believe all is beautiful with the world. I guess that is why so many people vacation here but why not live here?
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Another biblical quote I recite to myself when things aren't going the way want. so I thought about sudoku. Steve loves to play the game. He, like most men I know, likes to have a set solution to the problem. He will dilligently work through things I readily give up on knowing and believing there is a set solution to the problem. This is a great thing in a marriage. One to remember when times get rough and giving up seems like the sane way to go. Sometimes we start the entire puzzle over again but it is a challenge worth redoing because when the solution is acheived, the resulting feelings of accomplishment are worth the efforts.
So it is when I am frustrated with relationships I sometimes begin again with renewed determinations. What drew me to the relationsip to begin with? What am I looking for in a relationship and what has changed? Stop and review as soon as things look wrong. Perhaps it is just one small square that needs correcting. Have patience, tomorrow is another beautiful day...
July 26th-Hawaii
I awoke before sunrise with many thoughts going through my head but since the compter isn't set up yet I only got up to pee. I went back to bed but don't think I slept. It is so peaceful here I shouldn't have any trouble napping (unless I get a sunburn-so I'm taking extra precautions and I think God is helping out there too-the forecast keeps saying showers-perhaps if I don't get sunburned, I'll get just the right amount of vitamin D before God turns on the rain).
Sunrise was shortly after 6 am and there are many things I can sign up for and do here at the resort starting with a beautiful 25 meter swimming pool we spied (1 of 6 pools) with lane lines, pull buoys, kick boards, hand paddles and fins-everything Bellevue Club would have offered less the coach (wanna come back here coach Karen?)
Dreaming about this place lead my thoughts to wedding and love then money and how much I was spending even though much had been gifted to me just to make this stay affordable. It occured to me that what really seems to matter most in life is love and money! And then, if you have to pick one-LOVE-(they are not equivalent children).
There are books and books on each subject and I have read many and learned a lot regarding each. Author Suzie Orman even has books on tape and Robert Kiosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad invented a game, which I still itend to buy because I'm not done learning till I die!
Sean, several years ago, as he was educating himself on scholarship and trust monies inherited from his deceased grandparents, asked the provocative question "How do you learn about these things?" referring to money management and investments-our topic of discussion. Somewhat surprised by his question-because he had the courses available to him right there at USC, and on the "google" internet where one can learn about any subject matter by typing in the subject and seeing where it takes you, I attemped an answer. "First, you establish a role model, be it a teacher, author, investor, lawyer, parent (I could see where a college student focused on 1 subject might not know where to start-and as a parent who considers themself successful I was flattered to be asked the question) and then you ask them questions and emulate them, pratice their answers, listen carefully and apprentice." "Believe in yourself, trust that God will provide, and find your passion." That's a big order!
This AM as I awoke I concentrated on Love. Sex actually, as it has been months since I've been physically able to have sex, and grew excited about the possibility of having sex again (last time was too soon after surgery and I cried to think about what could have happened to my sex life if surgery had gone differently and I had been butchered in the process of removing the cancerous cyst in my vaginal wall). Thank God for caring, skillful surgeons, clean hospital facilities, and new treatments and for being in the best possible spot for loving support in the entire world.
I thought about the barter system that was used before we created money. Trading one skill for another-we still do that! and then about trading love-not necessrily sex-that is only one form of love.
If one has enough love then one has enough. Money is traded for loving acts. People want to pay to receive love. Love is enough. Yes, they will pay for sex too-but that is not enough. I wish you enough.
Sunrise was shortly after 6 am and there are many things I can sign up for and do here at the resort starting with a beautiful 25 meter swimming pool we spied (1 of 6 pools) with lane lines, pull buoys, kick boards, hand paddles and fins-everything Bellevue Club would have offered less the coach (wanna come back here coach Karen?)
Dreaming about this place lead my thoughts to wedding and love then money and how much I was spending even though much had been gifted to me just to make this stay affordable. It occured to me that what really seems to matter most in life is love and money! And then, if you have to pick one-LOVE-(they are not equivalent children).
There are books and books on each subject and I have read many and learned a lot regarding each. Author Suzie Orman even has books on tape and Robert Kiosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad invented a game, which I still itend to buy because I'm not done learning till I die!
Sean, several years ago, as he was educating himself on scholarship and trust monies inherited from his deceased grandparents, asked the provocative question "How do you learn about these things?" referring to money management and investments-our topic of discussion. Somewhat surprised by his question-because he had the courses available to him right there at USC, and on the "google" internet where one can learn about any subject matter by typing in the subject and seeing where it takes you, I attemped an answer. "First, you establish a role model, be it a teacher, author, investor, lawyer, parent (I could see where a college student focused on 1 subject might not know where to start-and as a parent who considers themself successful I was flattered to be asked the question) and then you ask them questions and emulate them, pratice their answers, listen carefully and apprentice." "Believe in yourself, trust that God will provide, and find your passion." That's a big order!
This AM as I awoke I concentrated on Love. Sex actually, as it has been months since I've been physically able to have sex, and grew excited about the possibility of having sex again (last time was too soon after surgery and I cried to think about what could have happened to my sex life if surgery had gone differently and I had been butchered in the process of removing the cancerous cyst in my vaginal wall). Thank God for caring, skillful surgeons, clean hospital facilities, and new treatments and for being in the best possible spot for loving support in the entire world.
I thought about the barter system that was used before we created money. Trading one skill for another-we still do that! and then about trading love-not necessrily sex-that is only one form of love.
If one has enough love then one has enough. Money is traded for loving acts. People want to pay to receive love. Love is enough. Yes, they will pay for sex too-but that is not enough. I wish you enough.
Hawaii-July 25th
Ok, I have been escaping from the world and now I am back but will try to catch you all up from my couple of journal entries...
1st day in paradise, a lot of traveling but this one time, booked ourselves (Steve and I that is) in 1st class. I see why they call it business class now, because you would have to pay me in such upgrades to get me to want to work and travel a lot under normal airlines conditions but I'm just pampering myself-the travel I would do in the baggage department with the crated dogs to get to paradise again!
We all got to check in (for those of you who still have never traveled 1st class) in an expediated line and our bags were handled with care. We checked through security like anyone else and Hawaiian air did not have a premier club at Seatac but some airports have gorgeous hang-out clubs offered to 1st class ticket holders (self confessed sneak-in at Tokyo airport).
The menu was fabulous gourmet food with veggie fritta, crab cakes and spinach with free champagne and mai tai on our puddle jumper flight from Honolulu to Kona. We had headphones and a handheld movie box where we could choose from 12 movies if we didn't care for the in-flight movie "Golden Blades" (which I watched). Steve & I watched a surfing movie to prepare for Hawaii-it was thought provoking as it's main theme involved taking the lead character back in time before Hawaii was developed in flashback scenes.Prepared me to rest & relax & enjoy the best of new developments and conveniences, but appreciate and respect the preservation of the beauty and natural wonders that abound here! I'm torn between just relaxing and doing nothing and my more natural, curiousity state of explore, see it all, experience the evolution....The sunset was unbeatable (though it tried again each nite). I was surprised at how quickly it went down. Me too-(went to bed early). We picked up Jamison in Honolulu (Sean's girlfriend) to make us a party of 5.
1st day in paradise, a lot of traveling but this one time, booked ourselves (Steve and I that is) in 1st class. I see why they call it business class now, because you would have to pay me in such upgrades to get me to want to work and travel a lot under normal airlines conditions but I'm just pampering myself-the travel I would do in the baggage department with the crated dogs to get to paradise again!
We all got to check in (for those of you who still have never traveled 1st class) in an expediated line and our bags were handled with care. We checked through security like anyone else and Hawaiian air did not have a premier club at Seatac but some airports have gorgeous hang-out clubs offered to 1st class ticket holders (self confessed sneak-in at Tokyo airport).
The menu was fabulous gourmet food with veggie fritta, crab cakes and spinach with free champagne and mai tai on our puddle jumper flight from Honolulu to Kona. We had headphones and a handheld movie box where we could choose from 12 movies if we didn't care for the in-flight movie "Golden Blades" (which I watched). Steve & I watched a surfing movie to prepare for Hawaii-it was thought provoking as it's main theme involved taking the lead character back in time before Hawaii was developed in flashback scenes.Prepared me to rest & relax & enjoy the best of new developments and conveniences, but appreciate and respect the preservation of the beauty and natural wonders that abound here! I'm torn between just relaxing and doing nothing and my more natural, curiousity state of explore, see it all, experience the evolution....The sunset was unbeatable (though it tried again each nite). I was surprised at how quickly it went down. Me too-(went to bed early). We picked up Jamison in Honolulu (Sean's girlfriend) to make us a party of 5.
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