Vancouver Olympics 2010

 

Overdose

My head is spinning with all of the brainstorm ideas that are circling my head. I have a schedule starting early in the morning. If I am sleepless and up blogging, I can flip the lightswitch on in the stairwell so that Dyllan's parents know I can help with the feeding and maybe they can get some much needed rest (surely new parents are on overdose and must be exhausted); then I have gratitude to express and there are a million way to do that also (magic cookies, thank you notes, phone calls...). This process early in the morning, or even middle of the night, is restful and gearing up for the new and beautiful day that is showing itself to me in winter storms, sunrises, waterfront activity, dog cuddling and baby sttention. I must be careful not to spend too much time on any activity because it becomes an addiction.
I have scheduled my radiation appointments in the am on purpose since it gets me going and the hospital staff is fresh and new. I get dressed for the day because I have places to be and "stuff" to do. (Some days I need help with this one too).
Pinch me, make it real
I am so filled with loving energy from all who surround me that I overdose and forget to rest. By afternoon I really need to quit spinning and lay down. This is when pain, vomiting, or body collapsing seems to happen which frustrates me (sure some of this is from chemo or radiation....I have cancer). It makes it real because everyone is going through life with some sort of ordeal and we forget to listen to them because we are overdosing on our own pains. Let go, Let Love take over...

Dr Love

Dr Love, (Dr Mehta, my radiologist)
I remind myself that love is the answer, so for me right now going through radiation, this is the answer. It is happy place, everyone knows my name and smiles at me in a welcoming manner when I arrive. They get me warm blankets and explain everything I have questions about. Patients talk to each other and encourage one another.

I am once again up early and as I rose, Steve said "you are something". What does that mean? He gets upset when I leave the room because he thinks I need to sleep. He is doing the best he can and trying to help me get better. Do I do the same for him when he is coughing or snoring in the middle of the night? Selfishly I want kick him and yank on his pillow to get him to roll over and stop snoring! My friends have gotten seperate rooms now and it is becoming popular to see new houses being built with 2 master suites. Why do we gravitate away from each other when we grow older?What if I want to read in the middle of the night? or blog? Who is the one that is supposed to get up and tip toe quietly so as not to wake the other? The one snoring, or the one who is sleeping without disturbance?

I think back to Dyllan and pure love. What would I do if the person next to me were Dyllan? If Dyllan were coughing, I would want to curl up next to her and comfort her even though she was annoying (if she is screaming out of control I might not feel like it-then it might be time to delegate the comfort task to someone else since I would be void of loving actions). We have choices. Take the loving action.

Clutter

Clutter shows an imbalance. If you have YOURSELF reached the point of "too much" or "enough already!", then it is time to start decluttering-a healthy thing for all of us. (remember this may not be just about physical things, but about what is racing around in your head)
1. Prioritize
2. Sort into files
3. Get rid of the junk-reduce, reuse, and recycle
3 boxes (believe me the earth will be a better place when we all start doing this-go green)
4. Give yourself a reward for your acheivements
5. Be gentle on yourself. Baby steps. You didn't get to where you are now overnite.
SONG-How Sweet it is to be loved by you by James Taylor

On weight:
You are perfect just the way you are-you weren't born imperfect. So now you have to go throught steps to return to perfect, but what is perfect? Perfect is LOVE. Start loving yourself.
1. Dress in the am for what you feel up to-notice how you are dressing and perhaps you will find your passion in life-swim suit at 6 am? Coach? Love that group!
2. Change your outfit for where you intend to be. Work? and who you are meeting-they will appreciate the connection and it will be appropriate. Stay neutral or whith what most would expect of you if you don't know the people you are meeting. Help someone you love get dressed if they don't have the mind to do it themselves, but don't push yourself on them). It is ok to look different (that is where fashion comes from...).
3.Go to a doctor if you aren't able to do these steps alone. The medical profession has lots of answers that may be right for you if you are brave enough to try them. (plastic surgery, lap band surgery...)
4. Exercise-you can maintain a good shape if you both eat right and exercise on a physical level. Dogs don't have a choice-look at their owners...
5. I prefer the natural remedies. I dress accordingly, but I can "fake it till I make it" also. You become what you imagine long enough. "Dream big and pray for the results".
Enough already....Declutter.

Mon. 2/22

Sorry about the lapse in blog posts, but I had some technical difficulties and I am hoping that I have them fixed now.

Dr Love visit and a tad nauseous this am-very unstable and just a little numb-enough so to ask Becky to come down with a walker. Cori brought over a whistle walking stick. Man! Do I feel old.
I debated smoking a dubie but never got that far. Steve takes me for lunch at the Blue water taco shop next to the hospital.
We are taking bets as to what Dyllan will weigh when she reaches her due date, March 23, 2010. She was born Jan 24th at 3 lbs 15 oz and now weighs 5 lbs 8 oz! What a girl! When she is awake, she is fully engaged. Making noises, picking up and turning her head, raising her arms above her head and kicking her little legs. She seems so much less fragile than just a few short weeks ago. What fun to watch her grow so fast before my very eyes-so I challenge myself to also press on fast. It is exhausting but a thrill with the Vancouver Olympics playing in the background. We are the champions.
I know I am going o get a good nites sleep tonight. The sun has shone brightly all day long and kayaks have cruised by and water skiers and it's February! I love it here.
My downs syndrome friend calls and I understand him. Perhaps my listening skills have improved. Mylo has mellowed out, not the wild dog she was when Dyllan came home. Hoang comes to clean and the House feels both clean and loved...
Yesterday was an amazingly strong day. Miracles are happening.

magic happening/alien encounter

I cannot possibly begin to describe the "magic* that happened yesterday alone. For simplicity's sake, let's just say each set of () is an opportunity for someone to comment or expound on the story) My head is exploding (perhaps a "chemo brain" side effect of the radiation that took place yesterday, as that is what Dr Mehta (Dr Love-that is what Mehta means) said might be a side effect of the procedure. Nasea is the feeling of the moment, the power of suggestion? I tried to block out that idea-it is a negative idea and I WILL not be negative about this treatment!!!! It is not a loving idea, God help me. YES, that is what Cancer has taught me.
The 2 hr consultation turned into an afternoon appointment to actually do the radiation. Like Avatar, I was escourted into a my spaceship where the transformation took place. "Are you clostraphobic?" Tony, the technician asked. I lay down on the stainless flatbed and a cold, wet breathable matter was placed over my face. "Kinda like a facial" Brea told me. (They remembered my name, I HAD to remember theirs-after all I AM a real estate agent and names are very important). This formed the facemask that would direct the radiation beams to my brain. In just about the same time a wonderful facial would have been over, the mask was ready to remove. I left the spaceship to return to earth, euphoric, and ready to return for the 1st spaceship trial launch that afternoon. To be continued...if you would like to drive me to a future launch, Kathy and Steve are scheduling escort service. I cannot wait to share with you, Hal-you are on buddy, Steve is 1st (warning-it will exhaust you and I am so happy you are up for the excitement (you might have to go to your man cave afterward)! Dyllan will ground us.

The blogging hour

I have a love/hate relationship to the wee hours of the morning...I wish I could sleep, but I am either sleepless due to all of the thoughts racing around in my mind, or due to physical distress because of the cancer, so 1st off I will update you on the recent status of my cancer...
I had my staples removed from my head yesterday where the Dr did a brain biopsy. The results showed a malignant tumor, and the good news is that it is a spread of the ovarian cancer-meaning that it is treatable-not some inoperable, inaccessable brain tumor-so please pray for the results of my upcoming treatment-which will be radiation for the next 3 weeks, 5 days a week. That is step 1. Beyond that, there is talk of more chemotherapy after the radiation. I am always open to hearing other options, but likely will still default to my Dr's opinion since he his still directing my treatment. Don't take it personally (I get a lot of free advise, and appreciate it).
The thoughts that race around in my mind could fill a book, and that is where you all come in...I am slowly writing it...so comment away on the content that fills this blog, as that is my life and your feedback is the source of my strength. I love reading your comments-if you prefer to remain anonymous, just email me instead.

Recently, through my real estate connections, I had the opportunity to talk to an incoming celebrity. I was so excited to welcome their family to the area, that I called the agent I knew would be working with them and offered my help and my waterfront house-since I see it as such a welcoming introduction to the NW. We are competitors so the offer was rejected and I dropped the enthusiam and the energy directed to this family and focused on the move that I had begun with my family to the healing waterfront house we are in presently. In the past, I could easily have seen the money from the sale of a big house as the driving force to pursue this potential client. My prayers were for an answer that would help heal me and I was surprised at the outcome. I have found beauty and healing amd pure joy in settling here with the family and discovered when your energies are directly towards love, that all things are possible.
Todays thoughts run to support of President Obama-why not go to top)?-why stop at a simple celebrity? The powers of love have carried me through troubled waters. Obama gets so much criticism because of the hard decisions he has to make, but if we all directed loving thoughts towards him and his "enemies" (after all he did win the Noble Peace prize for something) how could the outcome be anything BUT peace? Love conquers all.

Fairytales

Yesterday, Valentine's Day, our darling Dyllan came home.

Once upon a time...in the kingdom of Mercer Island, Washington, there was born a tiny little princess warrior who arrived 9 weeks before she was baked because she couldn't wait to visit this world and be with her Grandma Kat who was sick. Her parents, Queen Erica and King Dan were both wild and full of heart and humor in the most amazing way, and one could tell that this beautiful creation would be a strong spirit. Her friends had a huge party and showered her with gifts to celebrate her arrival. Her Mommy and Daddy picked up their already busy schedules running their castle, to prepare for her arrival home.
The kingdom was going through some tough times and the castle was needing fortification and Grandma needed help, so Princess Dyllan's parents decided to move in with Grandma Kat and Poppy. There was celebration in the land on the day of her arrival home. An Earthquake and tsunami had recently devestated parts of the earth but the world had come together in unification at the nearby country of Canada and were playing winter games. The love that surrounded her amazed everyone who came into contact with her and even those who just felt her strength through the love that a newborn brings but silently she was healing her sick Grandma...

I invite you to send me your chapter for Dyllan or come down as you have and share with her Grandma your stories. You are all apart of her now and will help her heal her Grandma in love. This is for real! This is your gift to her. Dream big and manifest the results.

Motherhood

We are the world...I have been reflecting on the birth of my own children since Dyllan came into the world and remembering new connections, even reconnecting to old friends and cherishing the bonds that were formed when such emotional connections were made. They say that is how we learn things in life; to connect them to something that triggers an emotional connection.
My college roommate from way back (I will not say old) emailed me the other day to ask what she could help out with and what Dyllan needs. I have been thinking that Dyllan needs NOTHING, she has it all, but now I have come to realize that she needs what everyone needs, and that is LOVE. She thrives on it. We all do. I realized that my friend's son's name is Dylan and that we now have something new in common-(and I also realized that my Aunt Grace shares this new baby's namesake-so I called her right away because I hadn't even talked with her lately.) My friend's son is a computer wizard and an only child and I need help with my pictures from the last 3 weeks that are piling up in my computer and needing to be organized and it occurred to me that this was the gift that my friend could give-a talent that needs direction in a growing child of her own. Time to spend loving and nurturing a relationship of love that needs rekindling (push each other to be the best we can) with her son. It need not cost a penny, but it would pass on the love.
Touch someone else today. You may not realize what it means just to have someone who cares. Happy Valentine's Day. Dyllan is scheduled to come home today!

Glimpses of Grace

The book Glimpses of Grace sits on my nightstand with daily devotionals and stories. Even if I don't read it, it reminds me to look for God everywhere.
4 am and I am watching the Olympic ceremonies
7:42 am I have taken 2 tylenol and gotten some sleep, Steve has left to swim at the Bellevue Club-so glad that he has been inspired-and the sun is orange on the horizon
8 am I am rested and not in pain and going soon to see Dyllan Grace

The Winter Olympics

I love the Olympics! The ceremonies, the songs, the dancing and celebration has always inspired many to achieve more and dream big. It is the world celebrating life and love in unison. The atmosphere is contagious. You cannot watch it without getting attached to the celebration of life and even with fatal accidents, it represents living life to the fullest. Who doesn't want to get caught up in that excitement? We are the World is the theme song and I cannot wait to welcome Dyllan home with that song. We live in a wonderful world.
Last night Kathy made dinner at the house for Cardens and Thorsvigs and us, while I caught up on funny things that seemed highly important to me right now like my "Magic cookie" recipe-(stay tuned, that entry is still in draft form), and getting things ready for Dyllan to come home. Becky came down to distribute money from the last remaining partnership investment finally closing (the end of a chapter), and to visit her feral cat that is being adapted out who resides at Petsmart today, She tried to get a purr out of the cat who squirmed in her arms and moved on when she was unsuccessful to hold Dyllan and run home. A day full of touch and go contacts that touch my life in many ways and warm my heart. Erica asked me what I had accomplished today, and I just wanted to say I participated in life. When I faded on the couch in the early part of the evening I was happy to fall asleep with the inspiration of the opening ceremonies and grateful for all those who shared my day.

New treatment

There is nothing like new life to make you want to stick around for while longer. Dyllan is my treatment. Our hearts beat as one when I pick her up and hold her. I fed her a bottle of Mom's milk today just after getting out of surgery myself for a brain biopsy that will need attention soon. She spit up a big swallow all over her cute little new outfit. "I know what that is like Dyllan, I do that too, but you have to learn to eat to get strong and get out of here" I tell her. She smiles at me and opens her little bird mouth some more, and then she purrs like a little kitten. It melts my heart, what a gift from heaven. Her tubes and monitors are almost all gone. I hated mine, I couldn't sleep from beeping and bright lights and nurses waking me up all the time for blood test, blood pressure, shots of insulin...The only one left is her feeding tube because she is still developing. The nurses at the hospital love her so much they are happy to take care of her till the end of March when she was due to come home, but like her parents, she a competitor and has to push on and be the best she can be as soon as possible. Love is contagious, pass it on. That is what living life is all about!

I have a dream

Last night, under the influence of general anesthesia, I got violently ill, then restless remembered my dreams as I slept fitfully off and on, or not at all, with grandiose dreams that nurse Cherie encouraged as she came in to wake me every hour for more pokes and sticks, temperature readings and blood pressure monitoring.
I first remembered my mother and what an influence she had on me growing up, the care she gave me and what I have passed on to my daughter and now to her new baby...then my sister, who is caring for her mother-in-law who had a stoke, in her house where she added a wing.
That lead me to think of our current situation. In order to save money we are combining households and Erica and Dan and baby Dyllan, when she comes home, are moving in downstairs. Like the good ole days, we will take care of each other and help each other reach our goals and be one big family again. Sean rents the Casita next door but we have toyed with selling that and now I see it as a res pit for healing and want to keep it for others to enjoy in transitional phases of their lives. It has been that for our family and others and made a wonderful difference. We don't need a second home, we just go next door and hot tub out on the waterfront and watch the sun come up over Mt Rainier. It is a magically spot where we had Erica's wedding ceremony. The waterfront tranquillity is dream invoking.
I remembered today sketching my 10 yr vision on paper at a Pursuit of Excellence class and there were grandchildren coming down the driveway at our house. Here it is nearly 10 yrs later, and the children are moving back in with grandchild number 1. Dream can manifest themselves. Dream big.

Magic Cookies

I mentioned to friend Val, who has Celiac disease, that I wanted to make some gluten free cookies for some growing number of people I know who also gluten intolerant. There need to be more healthy food choices for us to grab and go. We scheduled a date to cook in her kitchen and stockpile good food for my upcoming treatments. We had a fabulous afternoon catching up on old times and making good food, but the cookies launched a magic in the connections that took place the following day, most importantly to thank the Doctors who were taking care of me and baby Dyllan (takes me back to teacher appreciation days at school-always good results when you thank the people who make a difference in your life). What those magic cookies did was to connect me to another human being, not just a doctor, but someone who also has a beautiful life, full of children and grandchildren, travel fun, remodeling expertise, photography skills, Yankee fan club, and much more that take me away from my cancer focus so that when I see him professionally, it can be other than hard knocks news.

Here is the recipe. I am planning to start marketing them in the stores (could use your help) and will donate the profits to The Henry Kaplan Research Fund, which you can access via the Swedish Foundation if you want to make a monetary difference to cancer research and a very hard worker. He is the best!
(Nusskuchen)
Magic cookies

1 1/2 C sugar
4 eggs
1 lb. grated nuts (you can buy at Trader Joe in a 1 lb. bag at Trader Joes)

LOVE
Place on parchment or greased cookie sheet and bake 350 degrees, 15 -20 min.

Beat eggs and sugar for 10 minutes. Add nuts.

Still Blury

In a spontaneous celebration of another glorious day, Cori, Bonnie, Sue, Jean, Penny, Marilyn, and I ran off to Alki Beach to lunch at Cactus, people watch, walk and commune with each other. It truly was spring weather outside but no one expected to see a lone swimmer strip down to his suit and neoprene swim cap and dive in for a swim in the frigid salt water (45 degree) of the Puget Sound. A very striking, tall woman wearing designer sunglasses and strolling along with her split leash and twin lasso apso dogs gathered side glances. A father walked hand in hand with his fire chief toddler son. We all were the beneficiaries of the glorious day without thought or worry of another buck to be made at the office.

My phone rang just as we arrived at Cactus. It was the nurse at preregistration for tomorrow's Hotel Swedish check in. She fired the same old questions at me that I had answered 4x before in the past week! I paced outside the restaurant, not wanting to interrupt the moment, but knowing I needed to prepare for the upcoming event and just get it over with. Any other calls for the day could wait. Brain surgery doesn't happen every day and after all I do want to make sure they get this one right. Name and spelling? birth date? medications? do you have a life directive? are you an organ donor? history of surgeries?...after about 10 minutes and patience running thin, she asked if I had any questions and I realized I had better pay attention because for this event, I had to be responsible for myself-back to reality when I was trying to run away...

Lunch was fabulous, we walked the beach afterwards, checked out a condo-then I could say I was working-and decided it was time for desert, so off to the French bakery off Main St in Bellevue where we talked about Paris and far off countries and other cultures.

Back on the Island, Mylo waited to be walked but Erica offered to take me with her to feed baby Dyllan who has now graduated to a crib. I captured her picture to review the next couple of days when I will be at ICU Swedish and she at NICU at Overlake. Together in spirit we can conquer anything. Steve and I closed the evening with Netflix "Julie and Julia". I will update when out of the surgery fog in a few days.

Dyllans pink shower day

 

Dyllan's shower

Though Dyllan couldn't join us, the day was glorious start to finish. I awoke in anticipation of the big event that we had been planning from conception. It was 3:30 am and I got up to put some things away and make room for the guests we were expecting-some 45 of them, who was doing the balloons? did I put too many people in charge of games? how do we play games with sooo many people? Let Sue, Michelle, and Sarah figure that one out-they had the games under control-(Sarah, I loved that after almost everyone had left, we found the prizes and pink bag game we hadn't played and were able to play with a small group) where should I put the items I have been meaning to return to people when they come to the party? It was too late for planning now, what would be, would be... For some reason, everyone was ready to celebrate the day and welcome the new one as much as I was-perhaps we just all needed a rebirth. I lay down again to try to go back to sleep but it was not going to happen. At 7 am the clouds began to turn pink-a beginning of a pink, pink day, and a beautiful omen of the way the day would unfold. Dyllan rounds were at 9 and then off to help Michelle and Lauren blow up balloons to decorate the party and pick up pictures at Wallgreens. Transformed by the sight of Dyllan in her 1st preemie outfit, laying angelically in her isolate, I opened the Plexiglas portholes that would let me touch my precious angel. 15 minutes and I was recharged and off to take care of details. We filled up balloons and Sandy and I went to the International district to meet Haong, now a part of our extended family-who contributed the spring rolls but couldn't get over to deliver. Jessica prepared specialty foods fit for a queen-spinach and strawberry salad, chicken curry salad, pita breads and roasted vegies. Cori made a spectacular tiered carrot cake that had a table of it's own. Kathy arranged roses from Costco in her Martha Stewart manner, and Jodi pinned on the designer Laura Ashley table pleated draping. Fine china came out of the woodwork that had not had a showing in decades, and smiles were everywhere you looked. Bonnie made a darling diaper cake with preemie pampers and fun baby paraphernalia. Val and Sandy rescued ME from spinning too fast from the adrenaline flow. The results were a huge pile of presents that we barely had time to open, even with Dan's drop in, Mr Wonderful, appearance and active participation. The weather not only cooperated, but was sunny and pleasant enough to expand the party to the outside deck. The energy was enough to send Erica on her way back to Dyllan full of love and milk (she is trying to save up enough so that Dan can take over feeding, thus is pumping all the time) with enough (energy that is)left over to Nanny at 6 pm. What love!

more on the horizon

Just found out today that I will be scheduled to have another brain biopsy since the the spinal fluid was inconclusive. Next week will be some forced downtime in the recovery room, but with your prayers and miracles on the way I am sure that that time will be minimal. With any luck we will find that the mass is benign and move on to the next spot (which is treatable and small still). Darn this cancer.
I went to yoga tonight and it has relaxed me totally, so I am ready to call it a night and party on tomorrow. Celebrate life. You never know when it might be your last day.

The starting gate

It feels a bit like the beginning of the Kentucky Derby. The venue is set, the spectators have arrived in all their finery, the stage is set for a stupendous show, and the stands are filling up. The horses are antsy; prancing around nervously as they are lead up to the start gate. A new race is about to start. Dyllan will be coming home soon, but we don't know just when yet, so we will celebrate, as we had intended, by throwing a baby shower at the Casa.

The party connects me to all of the support group that has helped me raise my own daughter, Erica, and reminds me of just how important this new beginning is in all of our lives. It reconnects us with our own surroundings and beginnings and reminds us that we are all interconnected somewhere along the way. The party seems to have a life of it's own-everyone wants a reason to celebrate and be joyful amongst other conceived disasters that complicate our lives.

So many have been helpful in pulling off this party. Erica's friends from as far back as preschool have come out of the woodwork. It takes a community to raise a child. Bonnie has been my business partner now for 17 years and I tend to take her presence for granted. Her children grew up alongside mine. Her sons have both gotten married this past year; Andy, to Michelle-one of Erica's best friends. Bonnie is a super classy lady. She took lessons from her Mom who traveled the world and was widowed early, then a young onset of Alheimers of which she eventually died-(see old blog-July 5th, 2007-Unconditional Love) Memories along the road of life that can obstruct or propel us to live life differently. Bonnie stabilizes the work load while I flit through a turbulent journey. She manages to elegantly compose herself in a world around her that is moving at such a fast pace, and remain calm.

Steve and Sean plod off to ready the house for the party. Steve to Costco to get food, flowers, and move tables, then to paint a new room for Dyllan at the Casa. Sean and Dan are still helping to move things out of our Salem Woods house down to the Casa. I have not lifted a finger in the move. "Just tell me where you want this to go?" "How shall we set this up?" I am sleeping in one house one day, the hospital the next, and the waterfront house the next. Each day my vision morphs to a new reality. We are all doing the best we can at each moment in time, but we need comfort and reassurances from those that surround us to be the best we can be. Energy is contagious-pass on some joy today and watch the results!
The races are about to start. Feel the excitement.

Vortex of the tornado

The whirlwinds are only slowing down a skosh. This morning-after picking up "magic" cookies from Valerie (gluten free cookies that introduced me to Dr Ryan at the hospital, and got me a personal visit with Dr Kaplan) I had a quick run to get the staples out of my head and talk to the neurologist to see what the plan was for follow up. I feel good but there is still something going on that the Dr's want to be proactive on, so tomorrow I am signed up to get another spinal tap to see what the fluids revele, if anything. Guess that beats going in for another brain biopsy and risking further nerve damage. The unknown is not always bad, so I am optomistic that miracles are happening. I went into the office for a bit afterwards to pretend things could get back to normal and check in with clients, then off to see my precious baby Dyllan as she tried the breast feeding once again. She is now taking all her nurishment from mama's milk but has yet to coordinate the idea of sucking with food and falls asleep after too much stimulation, of which I am responsible for some of. I cannot keep my hands off her long when she opens her eyes and looks at me and smiles! Then my dear friends Marilyn and Cori captured me to go and see Avatar in 3D. That took me to a whole other world and we grabbed a bite to eat at Earls happy hour. Yum. Girls are great for a place to escape and feel loved-don't ever forget your girlfriends! Cori did a duplicate Sinfield episode of loosing the car in the garage, sans goldfish, but after about 1/2 hr we found the stupid car and got home. Fun day. Dyllan got her first sponge bath.

Tornado times

Feeling in a whirlwind once again as I have been in and out of the hospitals-Swedish for my own testing that keeps coming back "inconclusive" and then Overlake to see my angels-Erica & Dan with baby Dyllan. We are moving back to the waterfront house at 7550 E Mercer Way, (still Mercer Island) and are setting up a downstairs apartment for all when we get our houses rented and feet back on the ground. Every day both in and out of the hospital is a gift. I am learning so much about the power of love.
I have had a few quick trips to the hospital since I wound up with a numb leg and headache and dizziness. Most recently I had a biopsy on some lite up area found in my skull, so now I have staples in my head and inconclusive results-perhaps another test in the wings. Meanwhile I am spending every minute feeling love that surrounds me-cleaning my nest and redying it for a celebration party and baby shower, walking in the mild weather of the best January in decades, and cherishing family and friend relationships. I have told Dr Kaplan to expect a miracle. I am on every prayer chain I can get on and I feel the power. We are not alone on this planet by any means.
Watched the grammies tonight and found power and love in the arts that entertain us and the wonderful way we take care of each other and nurture each other. There is so much to be thankful for.